Hold your tougue

An angry mind makes poor decisions, so battle the anger with cold logic

Picture this: It's almost noon, but your collegue has not given you the data you need for a report. You have a deadline to meet, but that doesn't seem to bother her. You ask her nicely, following umpteen reminders, for the outstanding materials. At best, she patronizingly acknowledges your presence with a nonchalant nod; at worst she snaps back with a tirade of expletives. From the corner of your eye, you catch a few colleagues sniggering.

What is this? You ask yourself. Here you are, trying to seek cooperation without sounding like a broken record and your co-worker attempts a she-victim-you-bully stunt. Your boss has just called again and is expecting your notes. You feel a warm sensation creeping up your throat. Your voice turns harsh. The volcano is set to erupt anytime now- will you let it all out or hold tongue?

While some people may find it rip cathartic, it is really a selfish act. Not only does it affect other parties, raving and ranting escalates anger and aggression and offers no real solutions to problems.

Adopting a different outlook could be a better alternative to blowing your top. Check out these pointers:

Cool it
It's natural to get defensive and worked up when you're criticised, but you have to try not to retaliate impulsively as an angry mind can jump to inaccurate conclusions. If you're in a heated discussion, slow down and think through your responses. Instead of saying the first thing that comes to mind, spinning the topic off on a tangent, think about the points you really want to convey. At the same time, listen to what other person is saying and take your time to construct your thoughts before answering.

Cognitive conditioning
Agitated people tend to curse and swear as a direct reflection of their inner thoughts. When you're angry, your senses can become dramatically stimulated; you start to think irrationally and act unreasonably. If you don't want to end up regretting saying something you don't mean, you have to use cold logic to control your disoriented mind.

Learn to change the way you think. Instead of dwelling on the aggravation, ask yourself whether the situation's really worth getting end of the day, and if getting angry is going to resolve anything, You may soon find that you have got yourself all worked up for nothing!

Manage your expectations
No matter how well you plan your day, thing may not fall into place. But if you are able to face problems with the best inventions, or the contingency plans, you are less likely to lose patience or fall into do-or-die emotional entrapment. Now, I'm not expectations can cushion the trauma.

Take it easy
Simple relaxation tools, such as deep breathing from diaphragm and visualing a relaxing sene, can help you calm down. Practise thse techniques daily and you'll find them handy when you're next in a tense situation. No one except yourself has the power to upset you. You cannot control the way things happen, but you have the power to modify your perspective. Whether you make or break your day is up to you.

So straighten your thoughts, get your bearings and channel pent-up frustration into positive energy now.

Wisdom from Human Linda Lee